The Blood Moon. Now 17% larger!
Lunar Eclipse Denouement
Man Scares Bejeezus Out of Local Walker
I took pictures of the Blood Moon/Harvest Moon/17% larger moon two nights ago.
Yesterday morning, I awoke at 5:30. I had heard that the moon would still be visible and still appear huge, so I grabbed my camera and tripod and headed outside.
To get a good view, I had to walk down my driveway and stand in the street of our cul-du-sac. Our street slopes upward steeply to the west. The huge moon was perfectly in line with our upsloping street.
I set my tripod down and started to take pictures.
I wanted to give my pictures some perspective, so viewers could tell just how large the moon appeared, so I turned on my flash to get a shot of the moon framed by the trees on the sides of my street.
Little did I know, I was not alone on this morning. A woman was silently walking up my street, behind me by about 50 yards. Apparently, she didn’t see me.
Until, that is, the flash on my camera fired. Continue Reading…
This is what showed up when I searched for pictures related to menstruation. What kind of photographer tags a picture like this?
It’s Raining Menses
Girl Uses Denial to Stave Off Womanhood
At a time when I was a stay-at-home dad, and still allowed to do the family laundry, I started to notice what I will call “racing stripes” in young Thunderfoot’s underwear. Knowing the history of the filthiest of our children, I had to ask the question—“Does this girl wipe?”
Katrina has a talk with Thunderfoot.
I get the update. Apparently, Thunderfoot does wipe, but reports that she has been having diarrhea from time to time. Okay. Fine. We move on. Continue Reading…
Even illegal aliens don’t like using backpacks as pillows (on account of their enormous heads).
First and Maybe Last Sleepover
Sleepy Parents Ruin Child’s First Sleepover
Junior is 6. His friend from the bus, who lives at the end of street, is in Kindergarten. The friend and his parents have invited Junior for a sleepover.
Junior has never had a sleepover before, and this looks like the perfect opportunity. We’ve met the parents. We give the friend a ride home from the bus stop. It’s close to home in case Junior freaks out. So we’re on board with the sleepover.
We pack everything Junior needs in his backpack, including his “special” blanket, and send him on his way for the evening.
It is not until the next day, when we pick him up, that we get the full story of what happened that night. Continue Reading…
To a Kindergartener, this is a climbing wall.
Overheard at the Lumber Yard
Kindergarteners Vex Lumber Yard Employee to Near Suicide
When Junior was five and I was a Stay-At-Home Dad (Those were the days…), I accompanied his class on a Kindergarten field trip to a lumber yard.
I was not allowed to drive any kids because, as a man, and as the only man on the trip, I was presumed to be a child-molester. There was a whole intrusive background check and anal probe (for men only) to be certified as an approved field trip driver, and I decided to pass on the reams of paperwork for
the certification process as it would not have saved me one dirty look from a female teacher or mother who wondered, “What’s he doing here?” (As an aside, at least one of them wondered that aloud.)
Despite my lack of credentials, I was still allowed to drive separately and join the tour. I probably would have been turned away if they had enough mothers, but with Kindergarteners, you need a high chaperone to Kindergartener ratio to avoid having some kid walk into a circular saw or have some other disfiguring mishap.
So, for the most part, I brought up the rear, corralling kids when necessary, and listening to the kids drive the tour guide insane with their questions. Here are a few memorable moments from the day: Continue Reading…
The Internet connects us all…to porn.
Why I Hate the World Wide Internets
I hate the Interwebs. Nobody reads my blog. Apparently, I don’t comment enough on other blogs or retweet enough or do any of the million other things you’re supposed to do to “drive traffic to your website.” And that’s okay. I don’t know how other do it, but I barely find time to write one blog post per week.
The thing that gets me, though, is what people seem to want from the Internet – bullet-pointed lists of ways to make their lives better, or porn. Continue Reading…
If you’ve ever tried to help a 3 year-old in an airplane bathroom, you know that next time you’ll tell him, “Just wet your pants.”
Parenting – One Interaction at a Time
Man Pleased That Stranger Thinks Him a Good Parent
Every once in a while, just as you are doubting your ability to parent, something odd will happen to spur you on.
I wrote a one-woman show, and was on the way to New York City with the actress, where the show was being performed Off-Broadway. The actress was bringing her five-year old nephew along to spend a few days with his father, who lives in NYC.
We landed in New York, and I asked the boy if he had to go potty.
“Why don’t you come with me and just try?”
He came with me into the crowded men’s room and did his business at the low urinal. He was done way before I was and I asked him to wash his hands.
He couldn’t reach the faucet.
“Hang on, buddy, I’ll be right there.”
I finished and rushed to his aid, hoisting him up so he could wash his hands, and talking him through the process.
As we headed for the exit, a man put his hand on my shoulder, looked me in the eyes and said, “Your son is lucky to have you.” Continue Reading…
But be careful: Sexual knowledge, in the wrong hands, can take an eye out.
Don’t Wait Too Long for The Sex Talk
My father came to my basement bedroom when I was 15 to give me the talk. I think he would have skipped the talk altogether if not for my mother’s prodding.
Here Comes The Sex Talk
“Your mother thinks I should talk to you about…ya’ know…sex and stuff.” I’m not sure what the “and stuff” referred to. My guess is something mechanical, because that’s what my dad knew best (which is not to say sex can’t be mechanical…)
Instead of telling him that we were taught sex ed. in third grade in my Catholic school, and questioning how out of touch my parents could be (My mom frequently volunteered at the school, yet she had no idea we spent a semester on this?), I stood there in stunned silence, waiting for the next awkward thing my dad was going to say. Continue Reading…
Step into the Light, Birthday Girl.
“Happy birthday. Did you see your sister’s picture in the paper?”
It’s Thunderfoot’s birthday today. As the younger sister, she has always been in the shadow of her older sister, who is well-liked, smart, and at ease in social situation. Thunderfoot is smarter (She’s a National Merit Scholar), but socially inept. For that and other reasons, she has trouble making friends…and avoiding enemies.
But she is 18 today. That’s one of the big three birthdays for kids—16, 18 and 21. It’s her birthday, and the focus should be on her today. But her older sister is on the front page of the Business section of today’s (Sunday) paper, as she prepares to go to Nicaragua on a women’s fair-trade coffee cooperative thingy. Continue Reading…